What are you doing to protect, pursue, and grow in commitment in your relationships like God intends? Tune in to Kent’s sermon on the Song of Songs for insights. 🎶💖 EASY TO GIVE at Harmony, text any amount to (859) 459-0316 to get started (or give online @ my.harmonychurch.cc/give ). Get the fill in the blank bulletins my.harmonychurch.cc/bulletins.
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OPENING ILLUSTRATION:
As a kid, I remember walking in the kitchen quite often and seeing my mom and dad kissing. I also remember wanting to puke when I saw it. Lol.
My parents were really good at expressing their love for each other. they also were a great example of sticking with one another.
As I’ve aged, I’ve learned a good percentage of people haven’t had the best examples of what love should look like in a relationship.
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and the pool for what a marriage based on Christ should look like is even smaller…
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Today, in the story of God, we are talking about the “Song of Songs”, sometimes referred to as “the Song of Solomon” – it’s the equivalent of an ancient Jewish Romance Novel…
Some people have tried to spiritualize this book and make it an allegory for our relationship with Jesus…
-It might be, but I have a hard time with how sexual it is and applying that to my relationship with Jesus… Just saying
The Song of Songs is a reminder that God desires your relationship with your spouse to be protected, passionate, romantic, and committed…
Some people think Christians are prudes – that we don’t like sex…
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Actually, that couldn’t be further from the truth – sex is celebrated in the scripture. But it’s celebrated when it’s in the right context…
ILLUSTRATION:
Sex is a little like fire. Fire is an amazing thing when it’s in the right context. Have a fire in a fireplace or fire ring and you can warm yourself with it, you can enjoy it. Have a fire on your couch in your living room and it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Sex, in the context of a committed married relationship, is meant to be enjoyed.
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Christian ethics on sex are not about limiting your joy, but maximizing it!
Learning Protection, Passion, Romance, and Commitment in Relationships from the Song of Songs…
(if you are single or past this point in your life, or too young, listen, take notes, share with others…)
- Protecting your relationship by guarding your heart…
ILLUSTRATION:
Let me tell you a secret that’s not much of a secret. I love eating Oreos… I love them! No joke! But I don’t need any more Oreos in my life. Let me ask you a question. Where does my keeping Oreos out of my mouth start? does it start when I open the package of Oreos? is it when I see the Oreos in my pantry? Is it when I unpackage the Oreos from the grocery bags? Does it start when I stand in front of them in the grocery store?
Protect your relationship by not arousing or awakening love
Song of Songs 2:7 (3:5, 8:4)
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
The speaker is saying “Don’t allow yourself to go there…”
It reminds me of what James says…
James 1:14-15
14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
ILLUSTRATION:
Let’s be honest, you have grown up in a world that does not honor protecting your eyes, your heart, and your relationship. Most of you were likely exposed to pornography at a young age, and many of you might allow your mind to stray into seriously dangerous waters fantasizing about people who are not your spouse.
You are opening a can of worms that is SO difficult to put back.
When I was a kid, I actually thought I might be gay because our world pushes lust so hard. I wasn’t attracted to girls at all (or anyone for that matter). it wasn’t till I was in college and dating a girl and we kissed for the first time. I “awoken love”, honestly, if I could go back I would have never even had that kiss…
Can I ask you a question? Are you protecting yourself – your eyes, the situations you put yourself in, etc?
Job 31:1
“I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Are you protecting your kids?
Have you ever considered what is being awoken in your child when they are becoming physical with someone who is not their spouse?
2. Inviting Passion into your relationship and pursue each other with romance
Song of Songs 4:1-7
How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.
Lol, “you’ve got all your teeth…” Ha!
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone[a];
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
Listen, if you read the Song of Songs, you’ll find this beautiful poetry that is full of some pretty saucy stuff – like “your teeth are like flocks of sheep”… Lol, but seriously. this stuff is more like R-rated or even Mature. It’s a reminder that God created you and your spouse to enjoy one another
God is about maximizing your relationship, not diminishing it.
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Pursue one another with romance
Husbands, can I ask you a question? When was the last time you did something romantic for your wife? When was the last time you left her a note telling her what she means to you? When was the last time you brushed your teeth or took a shower before trying to kiss her? When was the last time you did the dishes and cleaned up the house without being asked? When was the last time you planned a special date for just the two of you? When was the last time you stopped and looked into her eyes for more than a second and just told her how much you loved her smile?
Wives, when was the last time you told him how much all he does for you mean to you? When was the last time you leaned your head on his arm? When was the last time you sent him a text telling him you were thinking about him?
Passion and romance are tied to one another – they are a result of pursuit.
3. Commitment: “You’re the only one for me”
ILLUSTRATION:
When I marry people, one of the things I tell them is I don’t perform weddings for people who are going to get divorced. It shocks them. But should it? Did you really mean it when you said, “Till death do us part?”
Listen to the interplay of this couple in the song of Songs…
Song of Song 6:8-9 (the husband speaking)
8 Sixty queens there may be,
and eighty concubines,
and virgins beyond number;
9 but my dove, my perfect one, is unique,
the only daughter of her mother,
the favorite of the one who bore her.
The young women saw her and called her blessed;
the queens and concubines praised her.
Song of Songs 7:10 (the wife speaking)
I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
These two only had eyes for each other…
ILLUSTRATION:
I was talking to someone I care pretty deeply about who was single and they said, “I can’t find anyone good, everyone’s a cheater…” I stopped them and said, “Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place…” I told them, I never worry about if Jenni is going to cheat because she’s not the kind of person who would cheat…
Are you the kind of person who would cheat?
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Become the kind of person who only has eyes for your spouse or future spouse.
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This isn’t about diminishing, this is about maximizing!
Living in a relationship that is full of trust, love, and deep care is the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced.
CLOSING ILLUSTRATION:
When my dad passed away, afterward we all went back to my mom’s and started cleaning up and trying to help her out. One of the things we found was a letter my dad had written to my mom telling her how much he loved her. He did that kind of thing a lot.
I know some of you might not know this super well yet, but God loves you so much. It’s probably been framed for you in a negative way, that God wants to keep you from things. But that’s not the case. God is a lover who is pursuing you with as much love as a lover pursues their loved one. He has written you beautiful sweet notes and longs for you to come to Him for salvation and into a relationship with Him. Why not learn from the author of Love?
